Saturday, November 10, 2007

I'm feeling really bored lately. As if I don't know what to do with myself. I'm taking a break from some things in my life and I don't know if its the right decision or not. I don't know what to do because I'm always the one giving advice and not the one receiving it. Or at least it feels that way.

I hate it when friends turn into monsters. They just talk down to you or try to make you feel inadequate or even try to censor you. Not cool. You just literally feel like crap when they say something minuscule that may be aimed towards something about yourself. I'm growing a backbone so I don't really like to tolerate those people in my life anymore. I think one of the things I hate the most is when people try to censor what I think or my artwork or whatever. I was raised in such an open family (they were strict about school and curfew and stuff) that was all about doing what you love and saying what was on your mind. So coming into a community where not everything is laid out on the table really irks me sometimes. Just cause i don't know what is appropriate or not. Whatever that means.

I don't know what to do with myself.

I feel as if I got split open or just pried open with force and all the colors, creativity, personality, just oozed out into a colorful mess on the floor in a pile with my skin, hair, and bones that no one wants to sort out.

(picture from nataliedee.com)

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