I am at home for a doctor's appointment and its been nice to relax and calm down a little bit back where I grew up (in Dayton, OH). It turns out that a lot of my stomach problems (i've been insanely hungry all the time even with eating full and complete meals) are due to stress. I feel like I always have something to think about. I'm the kind of person that cannot focus on just finishing one thing... there is always one more thing to take care of and I can't help but think about it. I'm still debating whether or not I should go to Europe this summer or take this summer to take care of myself instead of running away.

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I get all my memes from thedailymeme.com... I don't really like tuesdays or wednesdays because I feel like there aren't a lot of interesting ones... but I liked TMI tuesday this week... usually I don't relate to a lot of the questions they post because I'm not in a relationship, married, etc. but whatever! Good questions this week! :)

1. Do you believe anyone truly likes their job? If so, why?
I think this is HIGHLY true. I mean look at people that are pro surfers, who are making art, etc. Basically people who truly did what they loved and not because they were worried about financial responsibility. I really hate money. You cannot live without it and you feel like you cannot live with it. I think people should honestly think about what they want to do with their lives that makes them happy and just go and do it. LIfe is too short to be a slave for money just so you can buy an extra pair of shoes (although, man, I love me some shoes :P) and something so temporary.


take Kassia Meador... a pro surfer. She's freaking happy and joyful and she is doing something she loves for a job! Strive for that!!! (21 min 59 sec)

2. Do you 1) live to work or 2) work to live 3) not see a difference?
As I said in the previous question I just work to live... Just enough so I can have food, gas, etc. I am trying to get rid of my dependence on my car so I can ride my bike and save money. I think people should probably put more thought into their purchses. I mean that is a big reason why people work so much besides working for rent and groceries. Instead of saving up for something like... a new iphone at $199 or $299 (okay, i still would love one... but it's just materialism)... put that money to a vacation with your friends? Because in 30 years you're not wanting to look back at this point in your life right now and be like "Oh man, that was a great phone." or "man, that jacket was the best thing I've purchased in my life!" you're going to want to look back at the beach trip, road trip, europe trip, whatever your heart desires trip with your friends and have memories, and inside jokes, and laughter that will still be something that you keep with you and will be with you for as long as you live.

3. How many hours do you work a week?
Now that it is summer I think around 25? I prefer to work less... during the school year probably 15-20. I know people probably think that 25 isn't a lot of hours... and it really isn't compared to a lot of people's jobs... but it is for doing something that I'm not going to do the rest of my life. I don't know, I'm just a student right now that wants some extra moolah to be able to do the stuff i want! :)

4. What was your safety item (i.e. blankie) from when you were little?
I don't think I had a safety item. I was really brave. I think if I could go back in time and tell myself to keep being fearless. I think all children should be admired because of their innocence and wonder for learning and seeing what the world is like. WHen you're young, everything is new. I always always the one asking for direction to somewhere, how to do something if I didn't know how to do it, and I would be the first to do stuff. I wasn't afraid. Now i'm more afraid to take risks because i know that there are consequences. I shouldn't be afraid but it is installed in the back of my head to worry a tad. Before, when I was younger, I didn't know what risk and consequence were. I should go back.

“Sometimes I wish I could go back to the days when I was six and my biggest problem was what kind of dress to put on Barbie or whether or not I had enough Legos to build a fort”

5. Have you ever used food during sex?
Ha, this is way random based on the previous questions... I wouldn't know because I haven't been to that part of my life just yet! :)

Bonus (as in optional):What is your guilty food pleasure?
I eat pretty healthy! I don't really find a lot of pleasure in bad foods. I think I get more joy out of eating something that is going to do well for my body. I love fruits and smoothies, I love roasted vegetables (especially asparagus and carrots!!), and I love eating new things. I don't really find much satisfaction in sweets, but I do like ice cream once in awhile :)


part one - Rob Bell - Rich


part two - Rob Bell - Rich

Which is a good thing I suppose? This weekend was kind of uneventful but I got some work done. Friday was a good day with going to the Justice Revival at the Vineyard Church in Westerville, OH. I missed Shane Claiborne the previous night though which is a bummer :(. Really wanted to hear him speak because I read his book this past summer while I was in California.

Speaking of California, I'm waiting for my internship opportunity to give me the yay or nay. AHH! It is so frustrating waiting for something you want so badly! Story of our lives, eh? I know that God has some amazing stuff planned for me but its definitely a bummer when you know you can't control what you want. But then again, it's definitely a good thing... Less stuff for me to worry about :)

So friday, heard the Justice Revival about mentoring and basically being a servant of God. It was pretty good. I have not been in awhile. They brought up Isaiah 58:6 through I'm pretty sure 14... and used that in their service.

6 Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?

7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness [a] will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,

10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.

11 The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.

12 Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

13 "If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath
and from doing as you please on my holy day,
if you call the Sabbath a delight
and the LORD's holy day honorable,
and if you honor it by not going your own way
and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,

14 then you will find your joy in the LORD,
and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land
and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob."
The mouth of the LORD has spoken.

Saturday was a great lazy day. I went swimming for the first time in forever. Since I think this past summer in August. I swam out in California when I was on vacation and I have not been since. Bummer cause it is awesome! I have goggles and everything :) Watched two huge surfing movies too. Riding Giants and Step into Liquid. Amazing people those surfers. I do not know why I love this culture so much but I just do. I love that with this sport you do it for the pleasure. It's like a drug that is amazing for you and they say once you catch your first wave... you're hooked. I want to be part of that. SO BAD. But so yes, Saturday made me want to buy every surf video available. :)


Riding Giants Trailer

Step into Liquid trailer

Rest of saturday just worked... and it was so dead. Weird. My dad came home that night after finishing a 190 bike race. 190!!! I am so proud of my father. I admit that for awhile we didn't like each other. At least i did not. I thought my father was childish and socially handicapped for awhile. But I love and appreciate him so much. He tries so hard in everything he does and he finally found something he's good at. He's good at everything after awhile because he has incredible dedication and willpower but this time he is really amazing. He has lost about 50 pounds and at the beginning of his journey in biking he could barely bike 10-15 miles. Now he is finishing 190 miles in about 12 hours in less than a year. What progress!!!

<>My dad skiing in the Alps in the 70's :) What a stud.

But when he was sitting down on my couch, drinking green tea with his 40 spoons of sugar (ha!), he had me sit next to him and just held me in his arm and I cuddle next to him. I just snuggled up and felt his warmth. I love my father. Ha, i was watching Rock of Love: The Reunion last night... and as trashy as that show is, there was a very touching moment. Destiney, a contestant on the show, lost her father two weeks ago due to liver cancer. She started bawling and even Bret Michels shed a tear. I cannot imagine my father gone. Who would help me? Who would comfort me when no one else would? Who would believe in me? I'm tearing up as I write this. He is freaking incredible. I'm so proud of him. I have the best father in the world.

Sunday, no work... means homework. Finished French and enjoyed my sunday with Bethany and eating taco bell. :D I need to stop filling my body with crap and go back to eating raw, healthy, veggies and fruit. I was good up until like a week ago when I ran out of food money. :-P P.S. Taco Bell ran out of beef last night? Seriously. I don't eat beef (or just meat for that matter) but... taco bell? Out of beef? Seriously? ha!

But anyway, French test today... :) gotta study. Talk to you amazing people later :)

I'm selling my art work... if you want a piece let me know. seriously. i need some cash. :)

I'm at a loss for words. I'm at a loss for what I'm supposed to be doing. I struggle just like any other person. I think the biggest misconception people have about people with faith to Jesus Christ is that we're perfect and we have the greatest lives ever. false. I struggle so much. I just feel like this isn't supposed to be my life. Like I'm supposed to be somewhere else. Which is true.. but also somewhere else during the Earthly life. People tend to forget that I'm allowed to be lost and I'm allowed to want more than this... but I'm supposed to be put together. I'm supposed have everything figured out. Well I'm not and I don't.

I try to kiss my life and accept it just as it is today but its getting me down right now.

I'm losing grip.



::sigh::

EDIT: my one and only new years resolution already... Start on my bucket list I have waiting.

... and guys... you're not supplying the love. I don't know what this epidemic is with reeeeeeally tall guys dating really TEENSY little girls. I'm six feet tall and have been since i was about 13 (I'm 20 now) and I cannot tell you how hard it is to find a guy that is taller than you and interested. My first kiss was a guy who was 5'7" so i'm not biased towards one height or the other. I don't settle ... don't get that idea... and I didnt just date a short guy or whoever because they were available. I dated them because of the person they were. I know that I'm writing a post on how its weird that tall guys date really short girls... but yea, its just something I've noticed. A lot of tall guys I know prefer teeny girls, I don't know why really. Maybe someone will enlighten me. I mean if they're an awesome girl... then go for it. But hey, tall guys... LOOK UP NOT DOWN once in a little while! There are some pretty legit tall girls out there! I don't really like to limit myself to height because almost all the shorter guys I've dated were awesome and some (to most) are still my friends. And I mean I always see guys fawn over almost 6' supermodels or whatever and then I see them dating someone as tall as my pinky. What gives dude! Whatever, I just think a girl should not have to tip-toe or a guy become a hunchback just to get a peck on the lips or to give a hug. I'm just sayin... tall guys... you need to look up a little. It'd be great to find a tall guy who we can date and not compete with smaller girls just cause we're not "dainty" or "petite" enough... heck even "fun-sized" as some shorties like to call themselves. Its not our fault we're tall so give us a chance. ;)

Pssshhh anyway, watch this. water = very happy nathalie :)

this week's Friday5

1. If you were on a game show and could phone a friend for help, who would your lifelines be for sports, arts & music, literature, history and geography, and science?
Sports would probably be my friend Karl... he seems to know everything about sports. plus he's always playing one. Arts and Music would be Laura or Marta, Literature would be most definitely Brett, History and Geography most definitely = JJ. its his major haha! Lastly science would probably be Ian and Jon... bio major and the other a veterinary medicine major.

2. When you need someone with muscles to help you with a task, who’s the first one you call?
haha any of the brickhouse boys. Its just a house full of brawny men. haha!

3. When you need some creative help with ideas for a project, who’s the first person you call?
Laura or Brian. Super creative minds. I love it.

4. When you have a moral dilemma and need advice, on whom do you rely most?
Alicia when shes here... But for breaking rules I call marta... she is my partner in crime even though she's all the way in freaking London, England!

5. When you need to know the best way to get somewhere, which of your directionally-gifted friends do you call upon first?
Unfortunately... I am that friend. So if I'm lost... God help my other friends! ;)

Laird Hamilton, if you didn't know already, is one of the (if not THE) greatest big wave surfers in history. He is interviewed in Relevant Magazine for the Nov/Dec issue and I had no idea he was a believer. Freakin eh! Thats awesome! These are my two favorite Q&A's he had with the (incredibly awesome) magazine (that everyone should go read)... italics were put in by me by the way:

"Relevant Magazine: The 'thanks to' section of your Laird DVD ends with the following text: '... most of all to the one who made it all possible, the Lord.' Can you describe your relationship with God?
Laird Hamilton: Yes. Its an ongoing struggle to follow the messages in the bible that are designed to make the lives of Christians easier, to help us bypass of the pain and problems of this life. At the end of the day, we're all just people who share common struggles, urges and issues everyone has. Some of the churches I've visited have made me sad because the people there seem to have forgotten that Jesus told us not to judge, or we will be judged. I think it if were up to man, we'd all be cast into hell, because we're all quick to point out other people's flaws. I don't like to broadcast my relationship with the Lord because I don't want to be running around saying, 'Look at me, I'm perfect. I'm holier than thou,' because I'm not; I'm not great. I'm grateful for the forgiveness I have in God. In some ways life is easier when you don't know God, because once you know Him you're accountable.

RM: How do your experiences with 60-foot waves and other incredible forces of nature affect your posture towards God?
Hamilton: They make me grateful. Looking at my life, at the blessings I've had and continue to have, I realize that I am unworthy. I need to remember that I'm just a man-I need the hope, love, and grace the Word offers. I have to consciously remember to be positive and to give thanks to the Lord. There are blessings everyday, but its so easy to get off track and not acknowledge that.' "

Definitely have mad respect towards this man. :)


P.S. a surfing video on Laird Hamilton. He's basically a BAMF if I've ever seen one.

... These guys have mine