Tuesday, June 17, 2008
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” - Neil Gaiman
5 of your favorite cookies, (or cookie recipes.)
Its totally more about the dough than the actual cookie! But I really don't eat them enough to have FIVE favorites... so I'll give you one: Saranac Village's Snickerdoodles :) best cookies EVERRRR
5 things you’re afraid of.
- really deep, dark water.
- spiders (I don't like the way they crawl)
- losing my creativity
- becoming overweight (its something I still deal with after overcoming an eating disorder...)
5 things you would like to learn.
- How to do a cartwheel. I've never done one before!
- how to play the guitar well
- how to decorate well
- how to write and read Polish fluently
- How to surf well!!!
5 things you wanted to accomplish at the beginning of the year, but you haven’t yet done (if you have 5.)
ohhhhhh i have no idea!! I'll have to go to my list of things I want to do before I die for this one.... would take way too long!
5 of your favorite things to do during the summer.
- lay out and get super dark and tan. :)
- go swimming or any water sport in general
- grill out
- enjoy my free time that will not last forever!
I am almost two weeks into my summer vacation and it is everything that I expected it to be. Liberating and quite enjoyable. I like the feeling that I can do whatever I want when I want and not have anything due the following day. My bike is finally getting all put together tomorrow (I had to get a new frame) and so I will have my beautiful amazing bike in my possession again! Hopefully the labour costs won't be too high.
I miss mentoring and leading like I did last year. I was a youth group leader last year and I honestly miss seeing the high school girls I used to see all the time. I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of stuff by not being there for them all the time. Looking at facebook pictures makes me feel like I should be doing more and I could be more of an influence. It definitely helped keep me on track and accountable.
Thats what I feel i really need. Someone to help keep me accountable and responsible for the decisions I make. Someone that can mentor me because I definitely cannot do this life on my own. I feel people older than me have so many stories, pieces of advice, and wisdom to share that us younger people don't understand or have the patience to listen to and comprehend anymore.
“If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there.” - Lewis Carroll