Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I am at home for a doctor's appointment and its been nice to relax and calm down a little bit back where I grew up (in Dayton, OH). It turns out that a lot of my stomach problems (i've been insanely hungry all the time even with eating full and complete meals) are due to stress. I feel like I always have something to think about. I'm the kind of person that cannot focus on just finishing one thing... there is always one more thing to take care of and I can't help but think about it. I'm still debating whether or not I should go to Europe this summer or take this summer to take care of myself instead of running away.

click above for product info


I get all my memes from thedailymeme.com... I don't really like tuesdays or wednesdays because I feel like there aren't a lot of interesting ones... but I liked TMI tuesday this week... usually I don't relate to a lot of the questions they post because I'm not in a relationship, married, etc. but whatever! Good questions this week! :)

1. Do you believe anyone truly likes their job? If so, why?
I think this is HIGHLY true. I mean look at people that are pro surfers, who are making art, etc. Basically people who truly did what they loved and not because they were worried about financial responsibility. I really hate money. You cannot live without it and you feel like you cannot live with it. I think people should honestly think about what they want to do with their lives that makes them happy and just go and do it. LIfe is too short to be a slave for money just so you can buy an extra pair of shoes (although, man, I love me some shoes :P) and something so temporary.

take Kassia Meador... a pro surfer. She's freaking happy and joyful and she is doing something she loves for a job! Strive for that!!! (21 min 59 sec)

2. Do you 1) live to work or 2) work to live 3) not see a difference?
As I said in the previous question I just work to live... Just enough so I can have food, gas, etc. I am trying to get rid of my dependence on my car so I can ride my bike and save money. I think people should probably put more thought into their purchses. I mean that is a big reason why people work so much besides working for rent and groceries. Instead of saving up for something like... a new iphone at $199 or $299 (okay, i still would love one... but it's just materialism)... put that money to a vacation with your friends? Because in 30 years you're not wanting to look back at this point in your life right now and be like "Oh man, that was a great phone." or "man, that jacket was the best thing I've purchased in my life!" you're going to want to look back at the beach trip, road trip, europe trip, whatever your heart desires trip with your friends and have memories, and inside jokes, and laughter that will still be something that you keep with you and will be with you for as long as you live.

3. How many hours do you work a week?
Now that it is summer I think around 25? I prefer to work less... during the school year probably 15-20. I know people probably think that 25 isn't a lot of hours... and it really isn't compared to a lot of people's jobs... but it is for doing something that I'm not going to do the rest of my life. I don't know, I'm just a student right now that wants some extra moolah to be able to do the stuff i want! :)

4. What was your safety item (i.e. blankie) from when you were little?
I don't think I had a safety item. I was really brave. I think if I could go back in time and tell myself to keep being fearless. I think all children should be admired because of their innocence and wonder for learning and seeing what the world is like. WHen you're young, everything is new. I always always the one asking for direction to somewhere, how to do something if I didn't know how to do it, and I would be the first to do stuff. I wasn't afraid. Now i'm more afraid to take risks because i know that there are consequences. I shouldn't be afraid but it is installed in the back of my head to worry a tad. Before, when I was younger, I didn't know what risk and consequence were. I should go back.

“Sometimes I wish I could go back to the days when I was six and my biggest problem was what kind of dress to put on Barbie or whether or not I had enough Legos to build a fort”

5. Have you ever used food during sex?
Ha, this is way random based on the previous questions... I wouldn't know because I haven't been to that part of my life just yet! :)

Bonus (as in optional):What is your guilty food pleasure?
I eat pretty healthy! I don't really find a lot of pleasure in bad foods. I think I get more joy out of eating something that is going to do well for my body. I love fruits and smoothies, I love roasted vegetables (especially asparagus and carrots!!), and I love eating new things. I don't really find much satisfaction in sweets, but I do like ice cream once in awhile :)

part one - Rob Bell - Rich

part two - Rob Bell - Rich

Monday, June 23, 2008

Are you a talker or a listener? Is it ever possible to really be both?
I'm a huge talker... I find it a lot easier to engage in conversation. I want to get to know the other person but sometimes they don't let me. I feel like i'm interrogating them... I honestly have been kind of zoned out lately and have not been a totally good listener... I should listen more. Silence is harder than noise so I think that is why I try to fill all the empty space. I do although think I hog a lot of the talking and should let the other person talk more... I don't know how to become a better listener... maybe to stop talking? stop worrying about what to say? I don't know.

Do you think God has a sense of humor?
Honestly?! I do think so! Think of embarrassing moments... Those have to stem from somewhere. Think of all the awkwardness we put ourselves through. It's inevitable.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Have you ever experienced it?
I don't believe in love at first sight at all. I think that there is infatuation and lust at first sight but I definitely feel that you can become intrigued by a person's looks and that kind of makes you feel drawn to them. As far as falling into love... I think that is something that takes time and patience. It is something that grows. But I mean, I'm just talking from my experience thus far... and it's not really a whole lot. I know that a relationship based on purely physical stuff will never be deep nor will it be completely fufilling even though it may be fun.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

I like these question things... so I'm going to keep doing them if you want something to read. :)

1. The other day I purchased gas for $3.96, which was less than the $4.37 my local station charges per gallon. What is the current gas price in your area for regular?
I filled up some of my tank today for $4.09 a gallon. YUCK. I remember when I first started driving with was around $1.60 a gallon and now its basically 3x or 4x as much.

2. Will your vacation plans be altered by the price of gas?
Probably. I would love to take a roadtrip somewhere and be able to be free and anonymous... but I feel like i have to work a ton more just to be able to pay for gas. Yuck. I should start riding my bike. I have a little more motivation now for riding ;)

3. Is there any movie this summer that you're looking forward to seeing?
I still need to see a ton more from the past... but I would love to see Mister Lonely, The Fall, and... Kung Fu Panda ;)

4. Gas prices aside, what is your favorite vacation destination?
Europe... which I am trying to make my way out to this summer... but its not working due to the lack of interest in a person subleasing my house :(

5. Will you watch more film on DVD than in theaters this summer?
Probably... or online :)

6. Will you fly anywhere this summer?
Hopefully Europe... then california... and I'll probably drive to new york for saranac summer staff.

7. Guess: How high will a gallon of gas peak at?

8. Will gas prices effect who you vote for in this fall's election?
I can't vote. I'm freaking canadian living in america

9. How much will the price of home heating oil effect you?
This is probably not a good survey to fill out with a headache... Our gas bill was almost $400 a month with the thermostat being 65 or below... soooo as long as my bills are below that with the heat higher up... I will be fine!

ENjoy some Xavier Rudd :)

Thursday, June 19, 2008

1. Have you made any life-style changes lately? If so, what are they? If not, are things fine the way they are, or would you like to change something?
I've begun to care a lot less of what people think of me. I'm trying to eat less bad food (junk food vegetarianism has caught up with me). I've begun to refuse to accept just settling. I would still love to change a lot of things but those come with time.

2. Do you believe in the institution of marriage? Why/why not?
I believe it is still possible. I would like nothing more than someone to love. To show that they are wanted. I watched the episode of Friends today that almost made me cry. The one with the proposal of Chandler and Monica. Its hard to watch people to in love with each other because its frightening.... I'm scared that I won't find that person and each guy seems to be another discouragement... but i definitely believe it is possible. I want that someone to know that they are wonderful and extraordinary and just perfect in my eyes. I definitely want to make that commitment.

3. How's life treating you these days?
It's summer and it is warm and beautiful. Not much can go wrong. I just remember that it's not that bad and things usually perk up a little bit. Life is beautiful y'know :) I would definitely feel more comfortable being somewhere else.... just getting away for a little while and forgetting who i am. I think everyone kind of needs that.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” - Neil Gaiman

5 of your favorite cookies, (or cookie recipes.)
Its totally more about the dough than the actual cookie! But I really don't eat them enough to have FIVE favorites... so I'll give you one: Saranac Village's Snickerdoodles :) best cookies EVERRRR

5 things you’re afraid of.
- really deep, dark water.
- spiders (I don't like the way they crawl)
- losing my creativity
- becoming overweight (its something I still deal with after overcoming an eating disorder...)
- Zombies.

5 things you would like to learn.
- How to do a cartwheel. I've never done one before!
- how to play the guitar well
- how to decorate well
- how to write and read Polish fluently
- How to surf well!!!

5 things you wanted to accomplish at the beginning of the year, but you haven’t yet done (if you have 5.)
ohhhhhh i have no idea!! I'll have to go to my list of things I want to do before I die for this one.... would take way too long!

5 of your favorite things to do during the summer.
- lay out and get super dark and tan. :)
- go swimming or any water sport in general
- grill out
- travel
- enjoy my free time that will not last forever!


I am almost two weeks into my summer vacation and it is everything that I expected it to be. Liberating and quite enjoyable. I like the feeling that I can do whatever I want when I want and not have anything due the following day. My bike is finally getting all put together tomorrow (I had to get a new frame) and so I will have my beautiful amazing bike in my possession again! Hopefully the labour costs won't be too high.

I miss mentoring and leading like I did last year. I was a youth group leader last year and I honestly miss seeing the high school girls I used to see all the time. I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of stuff by not being there for them all the time. Looking at facebook pictures makes me feel like I should be doing more and I could be more of an influence. It definitely helped keep me on track and accountable.

Thats what I feel i really need. Someone to help keep me accountable and responsible for the decisions I make. Someone that can mentor me because I definitely cannot do this life on my own. I feel people older than me have so many stories, pieces of advice, and wisdom to share that us younger people don't understand or have the patience to listen to and comprehend anymore.

“If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there.” - Lewis Carroll

Monday, June 16, 2008

product info

I love parts of the oean and sea in clothing and jewelry. I need to get to the ocean asap. and get an iphone to organize my chaotic life ;) not necessary... but wanted :)

If your personality had to be summed up as a sandwich, what kind of sandwich would you be?
The blackened tofu sandwich from the PPK.com. Its got lots of yummy things like tomatoes and lettuce but then a spicy kick with the tofu. yum. :)

If you knew that someone was dying, but they didn’t know, would you tell them the truth or deceive them about it?

I would just spend as much time with them as possible. I mean if i told them, then maybe they would wake up and do everything they ever wanted to do. But then again, maybe they would get depressed? I guess it depends on the person.

Do you dress the same when you are depressed as you do when you are very happy?
I care about the way I look in my dress. I don't think I would ever really dress drab just because I was feeling drab. that would make me even more depressed. My face is usually expressive enough to tell you whether I am sad or not.... Plus, life is too short for bad clothes :)

Saturday, June 14, 2008

I figure I should write... being in the summertime I figure I would have more time to write but apparently thats not true. Whats happened in this span of time? Tried to fix my ibook... didn't work, selling it for parts. Trying to sell my ipod as well... both are just bleh. I am also getting my bike frame repaired. woohoo! Come tuesday, I will be reunited with my bike once again! :)

Sorry is a simple word that can fix a lot of difficult things.