Monday, December 31, 2007

Do you ever just not feel right? Like something in your life is going awry but you have no idea what is it or what not so you cannot do anything about it? Or you just get a funny feeling about people? Thats definitely what I'm feeling right now. Not too good to have that on new years because its making me anti-social. I don't really want to go out tomorrow. I just feel like i should be hibernating tomorrow night and the next two days that I have off. Ugh. Life is weird right now.

always beautiful. but weird.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

I don't know about you, but when I was a kid I wanted a treehouse. I was jealous of Bart Simpson for having such an awesome pad in his backyard for Pete's sake. But this above tops them all. If I had that tree house (called "Spirit Spheres") I would of been the happiest kid. EVER.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

that made me chuckle a bit. haha!

Monday, December 24, 2007

I like LOVE project runway probably more than I do a lot of things in my life. I mean, Heidi and I are basically dating so I'm kind of biased. But I was so sad when jack left. he was amazing and i think this video proves his fabulosity. ;)

Hey guys, because I'm Polish, we're celebrating Christmas on Christmas Eve... always done that! But since i'm going to be busy hanging out with friends and family the next two days I wanted to wish you a very merry Christmas!

And even though many think that Santa is the one you should be celebrating remember that Jesus is the reason for the season!!!

Merry CHRISTmas!

Friday, December 21, 2007

This year, I will not...

beat myself up about my weight or looks I will do my best to eat healthy and exercise for health. I have to accept the fact that I am a bigger boned girl and I will never be like those girls in the magazines. My looks are not who I am. It is a fun way to express yourself but just because someone seems prettier than me or more beautiful does not mean that they are perfect. No one is.

buy cheap underwear! 'nuff said.

buy impulsively or emotionally Its a bad sign when people are spending money as if it were as multiple in their hands as the germs that are actually living on those hands. I promise to myself that I will spend my money wisely on stuff that will last awhile and was made with care... which brings me to my next unresolution...

buy stuff that was made with conflict I promise to make more of an impact on our Earth's greenness and make sure most of (if not all) of my stuff was made organically, homemade, cruelty-free, etc. to be one more person that is striving to make a difference instead of being indifferent.

take my friends for granted They have stuck by me for a reason. There is a reason why they are attracted to being my friend and I have to make sure I share the same interest and gratitude towards them as they have to me.

Be indifferent to learning about stuff that will help me in the future ... but just not realize it until too late. I promise to myself to learn about good credit, how to look for houses, how to stock market works, where my food is coming from, which politicians will benefit us, international affairs, how to fix cars, etc. I will strive to be independent.

neglect my walk with Christ I have been having some trouble with that lately. "I'm so tired of having this stumble I've been calling a walk"

let my artistic talent go to waste I will not think i am not good enough. I am enough. It takes practice.

give guy jerks a chance once you cross me, you cross me. Don't take me for granted and don't treat me like dirt. Treat a lady like you're supposed to and how your mother taught you. You're not 5 years old on the playground anymore and you're not a horny teenager in highschool trying to score anymore.

neglect myself I will take proper care of myself. I used to take good care of my body before and pamper myself regularly and thought I have become vain... no, i was just taking care of myself. It'll up my confidence and make me feel good.

What are your UNresolutions for 2008?

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

*Now this post is not aimed towards any specific person... so no worries mates :)*

So as I have been talking more with my friends, I have noticed that a lot of them have said that many people have felt intimidated by me at first impression. The more I look at the situation, the more I can agree and see what they mean. First, the most obvious thing is that I am a six foot tall girl. I also am not shy, I am not delicate, and I'm pretty vibrant. Even when I am docile and a little quiet, I have a stoic expression on my face that isn't easily approached.

My apologies.

So to all people, please approach me. No wonder I had few friends in highschool... people were intimidated. I'm really not that bad. I'm just like a normal person that wants friends and wants to be happy. My life is not perfect just like yours. My life is good sometimes... just like yours. I'm a normal girl.

And this post is mainly written for guys. Okay, I'm decent looking. I know it and I won't be fishing for compliments saying oh no i'm not! Cause.. whatever. But guys... don't think that you don't have a chance at all with me. I probably think the same of you guys sometimes. I've had guys saying "Oh you would never date someone like me," How do you know? Do you guys seriously think that I base my dating standards on looks first? Sure physical attraction is wonderful but PUH-LEEEASE... Personality is so much more important. What good is a partner if you can't even relate to them? I don't want a doormat that looks pretty on my front step or a good accessory, I want a guy who is a partner.

You guys never give me a chance. If you do, its all in good fun and temporary. How am I supposed to give you a chance if you won't even give me one? Its frustrating because a lot of guys I have liked in the past have told me they felt the same way the same time I did... just not anymore. I'm totally fine without a relationship but I would love a guy to have the balls to pursue me like a real man. Psh. I don't know... i mean if you like a person get to know them. How are you going to get to know them or know that you want to be with them if you're scared of talking about stuff like that?

a. don't be scared.
b. give me a chance to get to know you...
c. ...and then we'll both decide if we're right for each other.

understand? I sure hope so. so please guys... brush up on that confidence that makes you so much more attractive. ;)


Saturday, December 15, 2007

Things I love this week:

Long Phone Conversations I love being able to talk for a long time on the phone with a friend that you haven't been able to talk to in a while. My friend Kevin, from california, called this past week and I just totally loved that conversation where we've been able to update each other on our lives. We've both been busy with school and misc. things but we talked about everything from school to travel. Pretty awesome.

Realizations I realize I'm a highly visual person. I don't know. I read this quote in Nylon magazine by MK Olsen where she says that she is the same way and everything she does has to be pleasing to the eyes. I Love art and expressing yourself. There doesn't have to be a reason for it but I'm just terribly bored when people all look the same and do the same stuff. I also was watching the top 40 videos of 2007 (according to VH1) and I loved the videos and how artistic they were. I realized I really have to use my gift. I have a gift to be able to create and I definitely do not use it enough.

Flight of the Conchords This funny folk comedy duo from New Zealand I've been listening to and watching since this past summer have cracked me up so much. Their song "if you're into it" is my new ringtone. I will let it ring a little bit longer than my past ones cause I enjoy it that much! haha!

Superbad saw the movie with my friend Jeff from back home, freaking loved it. I really thought it was going to be that... super bad. But definitely made me laugh a bunch.

Nice Text Messages thats all. you know when you got a good one. :)

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Saturday, December 8, 2007

I think the biggest mistake I make is holding back. I hold back a lot because I've lost trust and faith in a lot of people. I'm slowly bringing it back into my life but i think being wary still has its perks (of course). But I've lost a lot of relationships from holding back and not being completely myself. I think my head has been manipulated by the media saying its not okay to be vulnerable sometimes. Actually, now that I think of it, I don't I have a clue of where the line really is. Because I sometimes find myself on the very far ends. I sometimes open myself up too much and sometimes I just close myself off completely. I'm a freaking weird person... I like it though. I would love to be able to love fully and honestly though, I mean who doesn't?

I've held back in telling my friend zach how I really felt about him and our friendship until it was too late. We talked about pursuing a relationship and then he passed away. I wish I told him I loved him more and all that comes along with having grief over a death. Its not something I can change but I can definitely learn from it. Truth is, I still hold back sometimes.

Can someone keep my accountable?

Is there someone you need to be more intimate with?
Not sexually but honestly, truely, and fully there as a person and friend?
Is there something you're so afraid of not working out so you just put it off?
Do you not express yourself because you've been told you're not talented enough, smart enough, cool enough, fast enough, or whatever?
Are you holding back words that are meant to be said.

I'm one of those people that believe if something is on your mind constantly, there is obviously a reason it won't go away... now that I write that, it seems obvious but let me explain. I mean its something that is meant to be in your life somehow. I just pray to God to get an answer of where those things are supposed to be in my life.

Other stuff in my life...
- i like my job! for once i do not have a job that I leave pissed off everytime!
- God keeps pulling me in directions where I would do stuff with my hands. to create and to make things... I'm liking it a lot.
- Money is not an issue anymore. I'm so excited.
- I'm getting my christmas present in the mail next week! woohoo imac!
- three days in a row off next week! oh man, so excited! going back to dayton to see the family :)
- No romantic relationships during the holidays thus far. we'll see. :)
- I've made a new years resolution to not drink coffee more than once a day. meaning one cup or so a day. I think I'm addicted. about 4-6 cups average a day is normal right? haha! I like green tea a lot better anyway. :)
- slept till 11:30 AM today. AHHH!!! YAY!!! for once i got to sleep in! woohoo!
- I'm obsessed with Ben Lee lately. Take a listen on his myspace.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

i'm freaking giddy. the giddiness that happens only after a boy.

hmmmmm wonder whats gonna happen. :)

but i have to be cautious. cause you freaking boys caused my paranoia... so i always have to be careful. mmmwell.

sleepy time. i think i'm slap happy cause i've had a total of like 5 hours sleep the past two nights. ohhhh man. night night guys :)

Monday, December 3, 2007

All I want to do is sleep and read and I can't even read what I enjoy and I can't even sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. I'm going crazy! I hate finals week!!!

Edit: Check out Sierra! she's a really cool girlie who has commented on my blog and isn't afraid to censor herself.. hmmm just my cup of tea. Enjoy her blurbs, rants, and thoughts... they're pretty sweet and dead on! :)

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Its been 2 years since one of my best friends passed away. He was living the dream and going to his dream school at MIT. He was beautiful and loved by everyone. I can't tell you how much my standards were raised about guys. Its hard to match up to him. I love and miss him so much... so I'll share some of my favorite pictures of him.
Zach I miss you. Come home.

this picture above was taken the weekend before he passed on thursday december 1, 2005. I miss him so much. words cannot explain how much.

1. You're not going to get along with everyone.

2. Friends fade away... its possible to not have a lot in common with someone anymore... you're not going to talk to them like you used to.

3. cookie dough always tastes better than the actual cookie.

4. The guy you thought was perfect isn't... and proves it over and over to you so you that you are constantly reminded. but hopelessly feeling stupid.

5. 8 hour days for work are normal? Maybe?

6. that lightening up is good for the soul.

7. power naps are the best when its cloudy or cold out. Naps just in general.

8. The holidays are overrated with the whole relationship thing.... and wanting someone for the holidays.

9. Your friends not only fade away but they're mortal too. You'll lose loved ones in your life you never thought you would to the most stupid things.

10. Kissing your life as it is... is the best way to deal with the depression that you can face when you feel like you don't belong... but saving your money and thinking about how you're gonna book it out of here when its all done and over with is good too. :)

Friday, November 30, 2007

I'm sorry to all you intelligent Americans out there, but seriously? This makes me ashamed to even be associated with North America's basement!!!! ;) I'm sure that there are idiots in every country and all but this is why people make fun of Americans. cause they see stupid shows like this and see the people that come on there. No, Europe is not a country it is a continent. Budapest doesn't even sound French, are you kidding me? Ever heard of Paris? I thought every blond girl in heels would know one of the fashion capitals of the world.

Things that make you go hmmm...

What's the stupidest thing you've heard someone say lately?

P.S. This post is no way reflecting on this girl but please visit A.P.! She actually just put up a couple good videos from youtube on her site. My favorite is the one by Dove Films at the bottom of her latest post talking about self worth and body image. concentrate on your mind! Your body is so temporary just like everything else, but at least you can keep your mind sharp and beautiful as your outer beauty fades with age! So please visit, comment, give love :)

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Its so quiet. I love it. For the first time in a couple of days I have no noise going on in my house. Right now I have everything done that I need to get done for school... well minus about 15-16 pages of French that I've procrastinated on... but I'm surprisingly not even worried about that right now. My room is finally (somewhat) clean. I cleaned the rug and so it actually looks fresh in here.

I wonder why we're so scared of silence. I hate it when no one talks for a long time and then some dipstick says "awwwwwkward!" It wasn't awkward until you said it. Thanks. But seriously, silence is good. We're filled with music and television allllll day. And people that you don't want to hear talking but you have to listen. There is noise everywhere and I'm so glad that I have silence right now. I put on some music earlier to calm me but then I just turned it off.... and it feels so much better.

I'm going to go through my itunes and weed out all the crappy music I don't listen to anymore or is just not my style.

I work 40 hours next week. Just what I need during finals week. :(

Check out this delightful video of Natalie Portman. I just love her voice and how beautiful she is. I really want to be her friend.

She talks about the five most beautiful non musical sounds to her and it got me thinking about what my favorites were.

1. I love the sound of the wind coming in through the window during the springtime. Having my window open makes me happy. I hate stale air and I just love how the breeze comes in and kind of whistles.
2. I love my friends' laughs. They all sound different and fit with each person's personality. I think my favorite is my friend Katie's. Its probably one of the most joyful sounding laughs I've ever heard. :)
3. This is musical but I love My mom singing the polish lullaby she always sang to me when I was little. I think this winter I'm going to record her singing it so I can play it when she's away. I'm 20 years old but I love having my mom cuddle with me and tuck me in. I hope I can offer the same amount of love to my children that she has shown me.
4. The sound of the ocean. I just love the seagulls, the crashing, the sun even seems to make a sound.
5. The sound of the coffee machine just blurbing and babbling when it makes my coffee. I freaking love coffee and it just tells me that its almost ready :)

Wow, that was actually a lot harder to think about than it seemed at first. I'm going to have to pay attention to a lot more stuff now. :)

alright, I gotta get to class. But I love you all. Have an amazing day

what are your favorite non-musical sounds?

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

There is something fascinating about dark films and just darkness in general in the arts. I love how something usually so ugly can be beautiful. I was just watching television and i saw the movie trailer for Sweeney Todd, the film about the "demonic" barber by Tim Burton. Tim Burton is a freaking artistic genius. All his films never fail to be visually stunning. I cannot wait to see that movie. I used to fear that people thought I was weird for liking these types of things. Skulls, Black, Dark artwork, etc.... but its part of who I am. So... who cares? There is a beautiful art piece that I saw at the dayton art museum a couple of years ago that said "this is all that becomes of our beautiful days." I freaking LOVE it. Thats when my love for the darker images started. Well, escalated. My depression in middle and high school already made me appreciate it some. I liked it because it was true. When we die, we can't take anything with us. It all stays here. Kind of tells what you should be thankful for and what you should appreciate.

I appreciate my family, the fact I'm able to get an education, and my friends. I'm thankful that I never go hungry, that I have a roof over my head, that I have a car that gets me from point a to point me, I'm thankful for my legs, my hands, my head, my heart.

what are you thankful for? Thanksgiving isn't the only day you should be consciously thinking about it.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Its obvious that I shouldn't be in Ohio and it is plainly obvious that I am not from here either. I don't have ANY really nice cold weather essentials. you know... oh like if its raining, actual good rainboots... Or a rainproof jacket. I don't even own an umbrella. Living here for a little bit over a decade would really tell a normal person.. but nuh uh, not me. More is that back home, I live in a one story house with no basement... which was a big no no growing up because every spring theres always these huge tornado warnings... but luckily they never come our way. It makes for a good story thought when I tell my friends that my mom always screamed for us to get into the bathtub with our cats. I don't ever want to die that way, just to let you know. I also don't follow ohio sports... whatev. over iiiitttt

so to be a proper midwesterner:
1. have a northface (if you want to hop onto the bandwagon) or some other really warm jacket.
2. An umbrella should be a no-brainer... hey i'm blond give me a break!
3. proper footwear. It makes me cringe seeing girls wear flip flops in 27 degree weather.
4. like football.

the one thing I did get right and I will be a customer of forever... The Palmer's Cocoa Butter Stick. Its a over-sized tube of chapstick that you can buy at CVS, Ulta Beauty, Walgreens and your other pharmacies. Its good for your scars, any dry skin, and its amazing for your lips. Tastes really good too. I am an absolute chapstick-happy fiend and I apply it every five seconds (gotta keep those lips soft for my imaginary boyfriend right? haha) and I never get tired of the taste and it does not build up to make it seem like your lips have a layer of gunk over them. The vitamin E soothes and makes your lips real soft!And being that into my chapstick... I go through a lot and this has lasted me since july and I still have over half left! awesome! for a mere 3.29 a pop this is a GREAT deal for students and any beauty lovers alike. ;) I've also put this accidentally through the wash/dryer and no melting or anything. This is like, the mother of all chapsticks!

So all in all:
Taste: 5 out of 5 stars. Tastes pretty good, I like the mild cocoa butter flavor because it never seems like overkill.
Size: 4 out of 5 stars. All my friends thought I was putting on glue cause the tube is so big. So you might get a few weird looks... thats the only reason its 4 out of 5. But it fits in your purse, manbag, pockets just fine.
Lifetime: 6 out of 5 stars. its lasted me almost 6 months. 'nuff said.
Price: 5 out of 5 stars. $3.29 for .5 oz but it lasts FOREVER. You can't beat it. :)

Sunday, November 25, 2007

1. If a really, really good photographer — the kind who always makes you look good and still look like you — were to take your photo right now, what would be a good title for it?
Waiting. Cause I always feel like I am and like it is the story of my life.
2. If that photo were so good it belonged on the cover of a magazine, what would be a good choice, based on where you are and what you’re doing?
Well probably BUST or Nylon. Cause I'm growing a backbone (which i'm pretty proud of) and I'm learning what it is to be strange and beautiful and a mess all at the same time.
3. If you took an interesting or aesthetically pleasing photo of something in your view right now, what might it be, and what would its title be?
Oh Lord, My room is a mess. Probably my ladies on the wall. They're the brightest thing in this room with their Rastafarian colors ;)
4. Among people you know, who seems to have a knack for taking great shots of people?
I do. I'm not high and mighty about this. But I always take the pictures for my friends and edit them and play around with them. Photoshop = my boyfriend. :)
5. Are you usually happier with candid photos of you, or photos you’ve posed for?
Posed for. I have a good side. :)

speaking of good sides... this is totally mine. kidding ;) but its part of reasons why I love my friends. we take really stupid and ugly amazing and attractive pictures with each other while we wait in cars. :-P

I can't believe that made it out of my iphoto. ;) haha!

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Well I'm a NaBloPoMo failure... i think i skipped about three days? Oh well. My thanksgiving was pretty good, it was the first AMERICAN thanksgiving we had. As some know, we're really Polish in my household and American food for an American holiday is unheard of. Thanks to we got a couple amazing dishes out like Herbed stuffing and Chive and Parsley Mashed Potatoes (looked like pistachio ice cream!).

I hate it when you try to forget someone and then when you see them you get all sucked back up again to the same place you were before. I hate trying to forget people but people don't seem to make it hard on themselves to forget me. I feel as if I've been left behind more than ME being the person that is doing the leaving. The leaving doesn't even have to be physical. I've been in the same room with people who have left me behind in their past. Kind of hurts.

I had my first shift at work last night... it was pretty fun, liked the atmosphere even though I REALLY don't understand the whole BLACK FRIDAY rush. Learn to do online shopping, for real. It surprisingly only took me about 5-10 minutes to find a parking spot though and pretty close. pretty sweet. :)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Sicne I'm probably going to be busy on Thanksgiving Day, I decided to write what I'm thankful for now. Plus, being thankful shouldn't be something that only occurs on one day a year. Life is full of little surprises and little treats that make you be just that, thankful. So here are ten things that I've noticed this past year that have made me feel great to be alive.

1. Friends who are always there to talk to you, always there to bless your sneezes, to bake you cakes, to take stupid pictures during boring car rides with, to talk to you at 3 am when you cannot sleep, and to just relate.
2. No God, No Peace... Know God. Know Peace. I give the reason why I am still alive to God. I'm proud in my faith and I would love people to know the love and worth I have experience through my faith.
3. My hands that bring me through so many down periods of my life by just pouring my thoughts onto paper and making the scenery and landscapes that usually only exist in my mind become a reality.
4. My legs and feet that bring me one step closer everyday to what I'm working for. I can walk. I can run.
5. Zach Morris. Not the saved by the Bell character... but my beloved friend who passed away what will be two years ago on December 1, 2005. He was a real man and a real character. He knew what it was to be fully alive. I miss you, love you, and thank you so much for helping me through my days.
6. My co-coaches. They've helped me out of financial ruts. what a blessing. they've taught me patience and to have a backbone.
7. My family. We're not there for each other 100% of the time... but that makes me want to know them more and appreciate what they have done for me already. My mother is a beautiful dreamer, my father bears the intelligence that would rival Einstein, and my sister for being the crazy beautiful mess that she is and always uproots me when its desperately needed.
8. My Recent Awakening. Life is to be taken by the horns. Time to work on my bucket list.
9. Literature. Thank you for being my escape into a realm of dreams and wanted scenarios from teh harsh reality of people who do not understand.
10. Baz Luhrman's "Sunscreen Song" brings me up whenever I am feeling down. As cheesey and old as some people think it is... He states the truth. You never know what is going to happen in your life. Appreciate and kiss it now.

Hugs = great. I love this video. watch and enjoy :)

Monday, November 19, 2007

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a
short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says,
"Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, Isn't that obvious?)

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.
I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

... I'm not doing the whole nablopomo thing anymore cause I skipped two days? I don't know. whatever. My life these past two days didn't even let me near a computer. Which is amazing, cause I'm trying to spend less time wasting time on the internet anyway. :) hehe

I had my job training this weekend from 9am-6pm both saturday and sunday, I'm pretty pumped about it and I feel like i actually get along with the people there. haha! its gonna be a good thing

Honestly, I don't feel like writing much. I'm still sore from mirror lake jumping (weird?) and I think i'm going to read some. peace out :)

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Today we salute you, Mr./Ms. Buckeye Student. You, adorned in your buckeyes, teach us that there is no limit to the things you can do with nuts. Sure, your drunken shenanigans have been in every newspaper and magazine in the country, but you know that you were doing that on purpose. Where others attend college soley for a good education, you preach of true higher education. With a major at OSU, an automatic minor in leisure activities and drunkology. You preach of a world where it's okay for someone to get drunk at 7a.m. and pee in public. You ask "Why can't we have bars in the library, and have beer pong as a varsity sport?" So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, Mr./Ms. Buckeye Student, BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THAT THERE ARE ONLY A FEW PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT 20 DEGREE WATER FEELS LIKE IN NOVEMBER!

Today is the Mirror Lake Jumper Inner's day of celebration for michigan week. it is currently...37 degrees out and is probably going to get a lot colder. I'm so pumped. Despite all the crap thats at the bottom and the water probably tainted with disease... its probably one of the most fun nights ever... Seriously, these kinds of traditions are why people want to go to a University like Ohio State.

I'll show you a youtube video of the chaos that ensues... SO PUMPED!

A couple I will offer the newbies of mirror lake jumping...
1.) Keep the bodypaint to a minimum, seriously. for your own good. When you jump in and it shoots into your eyes from the 2000 people that jumped into the water previously... its gonna burn your eyes.
2.) Get good old sneakers/water shoes/etc that will STAY PUT on your feet. You don't need to be contracting HIV from the broken glass/duck feces/mud living at the bottom
3.) Sing "We don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan" as loud as you can for as long as you can.
4.) The more creative your outfit the better. Wear friggin anything and bring props. Floaties are a popular choice.

Above is proof of my stupidity amazing awesomeness last year in 2006 with some friends of mine. Notice my hatred for Michigan on my shirt. I can't believe they sold michigan shirts in columbus! Granted it was at a thrift store... but hey... And I know I'm not the biggest football fan... but I know that Michigan is NO GOOD. so if you're in columbus and one of the cool 5000 people that jump in every year... I'll be seeing you there!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Thank you nap,
you have energized me and have not made me sleepy anymore. Due to the lack of sleep today I was falling asleep in my chairs in class. But as soon as i laid my head down at 530pm naptime took me away for two whole beautiful hours. Nap, you are underestimated and sometimes unappreciated by yours truly... but don't you fret... I'll be with a whole lot more now. In fact, I am going to experience a little bit more of you.... right... now...


Tuesday, November 13, 2007

I'm totally all about the humor in a relationship. I love it when a guy can make me laugh hardcore and just have fun with me. I don't like the nervous dates where you talk about stuff you're not even sure you should be talking about just yet. Haha, I just love the movies where the guy makes up funny songs for the girl on their guitars. Like adam sandler in the wedding singer and 50 first dates. The cuteness is freaking too much to bear in "Forgetful Lucy" even though he makes a ton of jokes that aren't really romantic at all in some parts. I'd totally date Adam Sandler just for the chance that he might right me a funny love song.

And even though this song gets worse and worse (and by worse I mean funnier) as it goes, When Bret sings to his girl in Flight of the Conchords wondering what she's into... you know. sexually. He brings it up in a song with Jemaine just singing in the background... makes the subject matter into something hilarious. you'll have to watch it:

But yea, funny songs are the shizznit. especially if someone you like is singing them to you. haha! Cause in all those funny songs you see the little things that the other person notices in who he wrote the song for. From something serious that she does to something really funny you can't really help but pick at it. Okay, I'm being a nerd. I'm going to go study for my French midterm. BAH!

P.S. if you haven't seen this show yet, you are seriously being deprived. Just letting you know... :P

P.P.S anyone else feeling the pressure of NaBloPoMo like me yet? EEP!

Monday, November 12, 2007

I'm selling my art work... if you want a piece let me know. seriously. i need some cash. :)

I'm at a loss for words. I'm at a loss for what I'm supposed to be doing. I struggle just like any other person. I think the biggest misconception people have about people with faith to Jesus Christ is that we're perfect and we have the greatest lives ever. false. I struggle so much. I just feel like this isn't supposed to be my life. Like I'm supposed to be somewhere else. Which is true.. but also somewhere else during the Earthly life. People tend to forget that I'm allowed to be lost and I'm allowed to want more than this... but I'm supposed to be put together. I'm supposed have everything figured out. Well I'm not and I don't.

I try to kiss my life and accept it just as it is today but its getting me down right now.

I'm losing grip.


EDIT: my one and only new years resolution already... Start on my bucket list I have waiting.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

1. I almost got scammed out of $1500
2. My car ran out of gas on the highway when I was going 80mph (oops) in the fast lane
3. the cars that were passing by didn't give a crap and zoomed past.
4. it was freezing rain/mist/wind... I intensely hate with the fire of a thousand suns "love" ohio weather.
5. The pacific ocean has found a new home at the bottom of my jeans because of how wet it is outside.
6. I found out a few friends I've had were never really there at all. Reminds me of that Elliot Smith song "Somebody I used to know," you should give it a listen.
7. I paid $18 for a gas can and just $6 for two gallons of gas. Does that even seem right? bleh.
8. I failed to finish over half of my practice exam for french. Not a huge deal but definitely a downer
9. My visa got declined at the gas station. Thank the Lord I had cash.
10. My bike has started to rattle and get squeaky when i used the brakes... oh and one of the brakes broke.
11. I got a parking ticket for $33 and then another one that got sent back to my hosue in dayton saying i never payed a ticket I got a month ago.. which I never recieved in the first place? ... So now they're giving me a fine for not paying the ticket I never got.
12. I missed my roomie's bday dinner b/c my hair appointment took forever. My hair looks fierce but I'm bummed about missing roommate time :\

I know I'm 1000x more lucky/blessed than a lot of people but it just sucks when everything just goes wrong at the same time. Its just frustrating and I wish I could be spending my time, energy, effort, and money on stuff thats worthwhile instead of stupid things.

I'm so tired right now. So I think I'm gonna clean up my bed (my room is messy yet again) and then go to bed. or something. maybe get some starbucks cause i have a gift card. yummm.

and watch this wideo by Barats and Bereta because it always makes me chuckle for like 15 minutes afterwards. :) Theres always something after crap that makes you cheer up just alittle.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

I'm feeling really bored lately. As if I don't know what to do with myself. I'm taking a break from some things in my life and I don't know if its the right decision or not. I don't know what to do because I'm always the one giving advice and not the one receiving it. Or at least it feels that way.

I hate it when friends turn into monsters. They just talk down to you or try to make you feel inadequate or even try to censor you. Not cool. You just literally feel like crap when they say something minuscule that may be aimed towards something about yourself. I'm growing a backbone so I don't really like to tolerate those people in my life anymore. I think one of the things I hate the most is when people try to censor what I think or my artwork or whatever. I was raised in such an open family (they were strict about school and curfew and stuff) that was all about doing what you love and saying what was on your mind. So coming into a community where not everything is laid out on the table really irks me sometimes. Just cause i don't know what is appropriate or not. Whatever that means.

I don't know what to do with myself.

I feel as if I got split open or just pried open with force and all the colors, creativity, personality, just oozed out into a colorful mess on the floor in a pile with my skin, hair, and bones that no one wants to sort out.

(picture from

Friday, November 9, 2007

...Was when my new stylist finished my hair. OMG. MY HAIR = LOVE

I got an ash blond put in all over and then just in the front, i got chocolate brown panels. Sarah, the stylist, is seriously amazing. I friggin love it. It makes me confident I can actually pull off being a brunette. I want to be more daring with my hair. I actually want to go alittle bit more blond. This blond is beautiful but I want to really pop. ;) This girl at haircolorxperts in the Short North is amazing. This cut and color cost me only $15 bucks too!!!! AHHH! I worked out a deal with the salon and they gave me the best color job I've ever gotten. soooo excited! But the bad news was that I returned to my car to find a $33 parking ticket on my windshield. Oh, it was too good to be true.

and a really cool and appealing ghetto face is a staple every girl must have if she's ever had a blog/myspace/other timewaster. ohhhhh self portraits ;)

now the friday freaking!
1. What’s something that’s hanging from your ceiling?
A ceiling fan with a couple of dust bunnies attached. I should get a couple of windchimes/lanterns or whatever.
2. What’s something that’s hanging on your wall?
Uhhh whats not hanging on my wall? go to my post about my room and you'll see. ;)
3. What’s something that’s hanging in your closet?
clothes... unpon clothes... upon clothes... ugh and I hardly like any of them anymore.
4. What’s hanging from your rear-view mirror? (for those without cars, what’s something hanging from the rear-view mirror of a car you’ve recently ridden in?)
Nothing. I want to get a little hula lady or surfboard though
5. What have you been hanging onto for too long?
Zach. but thats understandable I guess.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Okay, so at first I didn't give these guys a chance but they are freaking hilarious! They just remind me and give me ideas for videos to create later. So enjoy the video! :)

I almost got myself scammed by some people who lack integrity. If my friends know me well enough, they know thats the thing that makes me the most mad. I hate it when people lack integrity. I think thats the only thing in the world I hate more than Satan. Ha! Some guys thought I was stupid enough to send them 1300 dollars. Heres the story: So my friend, Ian, is being stationed overseas and gave me back the beerpong table I made him 2 years ago for his 21st birthday because he just can't hold onto the big things he owns... cause he has no use for them. Anyway, I put it on (which is amazing still despite all the scammers) and got an offer for it. The guy seemed shady from the start because of his lack of correct spelling so i thought I was maybe dealing with someone foreign. My parents are foreign so they don't always spell things right in English so that was my reasoning. Second thing that was shady was that he never picked up his phone when I called by answered emails. Anyway, he sends me this cashier's check for $1500. WHAT?! I only offered the table for $200 and what he said was to deposit the check and send the rest of the money via Western Union to him in FLORIDA. WHAT?! First off, I listed the table in Columbus ONLY and second, it does NOT cost that much to ship something like that. If you can ship a 1000 dollar plasma television for under 100 bucks, you can certainly ship a table for that much. So Yea, i email the guys asking them what to do and I knew I was in trouble when they gave me a short impatient answer telling me that 200 of the check was mine and the rest was for the "shippers". So long story short, in their dreams I would of cashed a fake $1500 cashier's check thinking it was okay going to a western union the very same day to wire them $1300 for shipping. So in a few weeks, the fake cashier's check would bounce, I would be 1500 in debt to the bank, I would be getting into legal trouble/matters, and they would be sitting happy with the $1300 I never had in the first place. So I told them I'm not doing the transaction until the check clears (which means NEVER... END OF TRANSACTION LOSERS) because I don't want to be scammed... not to mention I gave them a nice little happy face to show them I'm not a freaking idiot. Needless to say, I have not gotten an answer back.

Canada - 1
America - 0


Wednesday, November 7, 2007

The thought is haunting me. I ate Chicken McNuggets. I ate an ANIMAL
Haha, I was looking through my journal from 2003 and thats a journal entry from my first week when I first became a vegetarian (I still am one right now) and during the first week of my lifestyle changing decision, I went to Mickey D's with my sister and got nuggets without thinking. I of course spilled it to my journal cause I was disgusted with myself. It took up the whole page with huge purple writing and a cow sticker on the bottom right corner. I'll maybe scan it or take a picture sometime so you can chuckle along with me. haha!

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

... and guys... you're not supplying the love. I don't know what this epidemic is with reeeeeeally tall guys dating really TEENSY little girls. I'm six feet tall and have been since i was about 13 (I'm 20 now) and I cannot tell you how hard it is to find a guy that is taller than you and interested. My first kiss was a guy who was 5'7" so i'm not biased towards one height or the other. I don't settle ... don't get that idea... and I didnt just date a short guy or whoever because they were available. I dated them because of the person they were. I know that I'm writing a post on how its weird that tall guys date really short girls... but yea, its just something I've noticed. A lot of tall guys I know prefer teeny girls, I don't know why really. Maybe someone will enlighten me. I mean if they're an awesome girl... then go for it. But hey, tall guys... LOOK UP NOT DOWN once in a little while! There are some pretty legit tall girls out there! I don't really like to limit myself to height because almost all the shorter guys I've dated were awesome and some (to most) are still my friends. And I mean I always see guys fawn over almost 6' supermodels or whatever and then I see them dating someone as tall as my pinky. What gives dude! Whatever, I just think a girl should not have to tip-toe or a guy become a hunchback just to get a peck on the lips or to give a hug. I'm just sayin... tall guys... you need to look up a little. It'd be great to find a tall guy who we can date and not compete with smaller girls just cause we're not "dainty" or "petite" enough... heck even "fun-sized" as some shorties like to call themselves. Its not our fault we're tall so give us a chance. ;)

Pssshhh anyway, watch this. water = very happy nathalie :)

Monday, November 5, 2007

"Scar tissue that I wish you saw
Sarcastic mister know it all"

- RHCP "Scar Tissue"
I have so many scars that its hard to take pictures of them all. the biggest one is on my left knee that I got four days before the 5th grade started. I was heading down a large what seemed like a large hill on my bike, bumped over the curb, did a somersault/superman move over my handlebars, hit a mailbox headfirst, scraped my knee, and of course cried my eyes out like any 9 or 10 year old girl would do. This scar pictured happened back in May or so of this year, i remember because its the last scratch I'd get from my beloved cat, Dinah (named after the cat in Alice in Wonderland). Okay, you guys think I'm a crazy cat lady. Well you're wrong. I'm a crazy cat lady in training. Get it right. Whatever, But yea I just look at it and it reminds me of her. You can hardly see it in the picture but its right below my wrist bone and is a horizontal line... like a dash. Kind of like the dash between birth and death dates. Its more noticeable in person so I guess you guys can't really experience my little memoir unless you really know me. Theres something about animals that just calms you down. Connects you to something bigger. I'm nuts I know, but I loved that cat. She was my companion and nap buddy for 14 years, how could I not be attached?

Its amazing how scars don't always have to be physical either. You can be hurt in so many ways.

Don't hurt each other.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Make a difference or at least create something:
become a guerilla artist!

more to come for sunday...

Saturday, November 3, 2007

this week's Friday5

1. If you were on a game show and could phone a friend for help, who would your lifelines be for sports, arts & music, literature, history and geography, and science?
Sports would probably be my friend Karl... he seems to know everything about sports. plus he's always playing one. Arts and Music would be Laura or Marta, Literature would be most definitely Brett, History and Geography most definitely = JJ. its his major haha! Lastly science would probably be Ian and Jon... bio major and the other a veterinary medicine major.

2. When you need someone with muscles to help you with a task, who’s the first one you call?
haha any of the brickhouse boys. Its just a house full of brawny men. haha!

3. When you need some creative help with ideas for a project, who’s the first person you call?
Laura or Brian. Super creative minds. I love it.

4. When you have a moral dilemma and need advice, on whom do you rely most?
Alicia when shes here... But for breaking rules I call marta... she is my partner in crime even though she's all the way in freaking London, England!

5. When you need to know the best way to get somewhere, which of your directionally-gifted friends do you call upon first?
Unfortunately... I am that friend. So if I'm lost... God help my other friends! ;)

Laird Hamilton, if you didn't know already, is one of the (if not THE) greatest big wave surfers in history. He is interviewed in Relevant Magazine for the Nov/Dec issue and I had no idea he was a believer. Freakin eh! Thats awesome! These are my two favorite Q&A's he had with the (incredibly awesome) magazine (that everyone should go read)... italics were put in by me by the way:

"Relevant Magazine: The 'thanks to' section of your Laird DVD ends with the following text: '... most of all to the one who made it all possible, the Lord.' Can you describe your relationship with God?
Laird Hamilton: Yes. Its an ongoing struggle to follow the messages in the bible that are designed to make the lives of Christians easier, to help us bypass of the pain and problems of this life. At the end of the day, we're all just people who share common struggles, urges and issues everyone has. Some of the churches I've visited have made me sad because the people there seem to have forgotten that Jesus told us not to judge, or we will be judged. I think it if were up to man, we'd all be cast into hell, because we're all quick to point out other people's flaws. I don't like to broadcast my relationship with the Lord because I don't want to be running around saying, 'Look at me, I'm perfect. I'm holier than thou,' because I'm not; I'm not great. I'm grateful for the forgiveness I have in God. In some ways life is easier when you don't know God, because once you know Him you're accountable.

RM: How do your experiences with 60-foot waves and other incredible forces of nature affect your posture towards God?
Hamilton: They make me grateful. Looking at my life, at the blessings I've had and continue to have, I realize that I am unworthy. I need to remember that I'm just a man-I need the hope, love, and grace the Word offers. I have to consciously remember to be positive and to give thanks to the Lord. There are blessings everyday, but its so easy to get off track and not acknowledge that.' "

Definitely have mad respect towards this man. :)

P.S. a surfing video on Laird Hamilton. He's basically a BAMF if I've ever seen one.

Friday, November 2, 2007

This is where the magic happens. blogging, creativity, and lots of power napping... okay I'm lying about the lots of power napping. I'm lucky to have even a decent night's sleep. I'm some sort of an insomniac sometimes.

:: shrugs ::

But I gotta stop living like this. my room is super cozy. which I absolutely love. But its so friggin messy all the time! The only messy part I don't mind are all the coffee stains on my desk and my nightstand because those make me feel like I had been productive recently. I make about 8 cups of coffee a day and always drink it when I'm working on classwork... Getting all hyped up on the caffeine kiddies! But anyway, I have clothes... CLEAN clothes on the floor. Oh if only my momma could see me now. Bless her heart.

Let my dissect this above section of the room for you. On your far right is an old keyboard from the 90's... I don't know how to play piano. why is it there? Its serving a new purpose.. a folding table and clothes rack/pile. right next to it is a box I have not touched/unpacked since I have moved in and an amazingly beautiful Chinese chest that is hidden by yet more clothes.The sad cardboard box full of stuff I don't know what to do with.. so therefore, I have no idea what to do with the box. The corner that looks like a tsunami hit it is what the Deathstar is to Darth Vader (okay... I'm a nerd). A Desk... but its the Mothership if you will. All work, homework (well that sometimes migrates to the floor), email, IM, design, etc. is done there. There is a picture frame that has been empty for a year and my alarm clock is there so I actually have to get up from my bed to turn it off and wake myself up. it doesn't work because all i have to do is turn around and drop into my bed behind me. I have some inspiration up on the wall to go workout when I'm facebook too much... It works rarely as I drink my sugar-laden coffee there often. The colorful paintings were done by me in my senior year. I don't think I'll ever let go of them. They're my ladies. :)

Above... is the other side. My closet is the smallest one in the biggest room. Ironic... and I probably have the most clothes. The pink canvas is just there to take up space until I get an awesome poster of a big wave or something because I'm in love with the ocean ::heart flutters::. :) My vanity is below... caked with bronzing powder and other cosmetics. I need to clean that up. gross! The brown frame contains a poem my friend gave to me about one of my best friends passing away. I love it so much because it just reminds me of what I'm working for in this life. Next to the vanity is my cardboard storage area for all of my oils and acrylics. I need a shelf or something for sure. On the other side is my Ibanez Acoustic Electric Guitar... its firey and spicey looking. Like me ;)

Lastly, My bed and doorway. Lots of picture of friends and inspirational images of where I really want to go. Live in California or somewhere tropical. I'm too much of a beach bum to be landlocked. There is also a picture of Elvis Presley because I admit, if I were a horomon-ridden teenager when he was popular.. I'd probably go gaga over his hip shaking too. Except its fit not fat elvis up there. ;) My sad sleeping quarters are in the corner over to your right. Too much sleeping and not enough cuddle parties with my friends there. haha! booo. I almost keep that as another clothes hamper for clean clothes I'm too lazy to fold. I'm only to blame for all those wrinkles...

But hey I'm not really striving to be all that perfect anyway ;)

Thursday, November 1, 2007

... These guys have mine

I've decided to get involved with NaBloPoMo which is "National Blog Posting Month"... you can click on the cat on your left to find out more. You just have to write for all 30 days of November.. I think I can do that. :) Plus, its just a good way to let others know how I'm just learning. Learning is probably my most favorite thing in life.

Scheduled today, no classes during winter quarter after 12:18pm! Bad part is that I have class at 8:30am on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I remember taking early classes my freshman year and I vowed never to do it again... welp, that went down the tube.

I've never noticed how many bloggers and craft people have the coolest partners in crime... cats. I've seen so many cats in pictures and it makes me miss my Dinah so bad. She died this past May after having her for 13 years. She got some sort of cancer and passed away to Kitty Heaven :( I need to start volunteering at the cat shelter here again, since I'm not really capable of having my own kitty for awhile.

I'm going to start having some posting themes during the week... I'll think of them later... but right now I have to talk about a very old man with enormous wings in my comparative studies class. EXCITING!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Okay check this out. This is an amazing piece of artwork by Georgia Russell (opens in a new window). It is a cut up book in a bell jar. I just love the fantasy feel of it... As if you would find this floating by its self in a leafy, mossy forest with very ethereal lights and kind of a stillness around it that made you hold your breath as your approached it... maybe scared of it falling apart or disappearing before your very eyes. I could imagine it being part of a game or a quest where its valued as a treasure. I certainly would value it for its beauty. This kind of artwork inspires me so much in just my life as well as my artwork. Art is life. Your entire life is a work of art and why not make it beautiful? Why not make it a fantasy?

::sigh:: too bad everyone is concerned with reality.

good music from ohio... I mean seriously, what else is new? :)

step one.) Take a listen :)

step two.) listen more at or (both open in a new window).

step three.) add this on your myspace, webpage, just get the word and buy some of his tunes :)

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

1. Of peace, joy, love, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility, and self-control, which are you most lacking?
Probably patience and peace. I advocate so much peace and I love peace but its inner peace that I lack. I am not at peace with where I am at and with who I am just yet. I keep wanting to improve who I am and become a better person. Then, with that, comes my impatience. When things do not go as planned or I'm not good at something right away, I get very easily discouraged... and I become like a little spoiled brat when it comes to wanting something right. I'm learning though... always learning

2. Of peace, joy, love, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility, and self-control, which are you most blessed with?

I have an amazing amount of self-control. Although I like to be outspoken and give my opinion... When it comes to a goal... I like to set myself on that path and put my blinders on until I reach it. Though, with the answer to my last question, I get antsy along the way... but my faithfulness comes in. I have an incredible amount of faith in people, my missions, and God.

3. The Scout Law says that a scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. Which of these are relative strengths for you?
Thrifty. I like making new things out of old ;)

4. Which of the elements in the Scout Law are relative weaknesses for you?
I'm not always as helpful as I would like to be. I'd like to be brave like i was when I was little again too.

5. If you were to create a list-type law, such as the Scout Law, for your occupation, what might it look like?
"A Human being is to be kind, love and encourage peace, treat everything as if it were a miracle, honor and cherish integrity, Laugh often, Risk, Discourage Censorship of your mind and feelings, and find out what makes them come alive."

Friday, October 26, 2007

.. so to all my guy friends who have started dating or having girlfriends... don't make me feel like one. I've had at least a few of my really good guy friends just STOP talking to me after they have gotten girlfriends. One of my friends has gotten engaged and I understand that his fiance might not like him talking to another girl... but I've talked to him WAY before they even started dating. He still sends me things on facebook or whatever but never picks up his phone, responds with one word answers in texts, etc. Its ridiculous. If you consider me your friend then you should sure as heck act like it. My other friend, I know he gets my texts because he texts other people that are around me.. but he never responds. I'm really good friends with his girlfriend who KNOWS we are just friends. Plus its a friggin' long distance friendship anyway... Theres no way that you would be able to cheat on your girlfriend even if you WANTED to. And not that I would even want to. I don't ruin relationships. I don't want anyone messing with the guys that I date... so why would I want to mess with your relationship with your girlfriend? Are you really thinking I am that selfish? Well dude, you're 150% wrong about that and please don't flatter yourself that much. I like you... but i don't "like-like" you. Psh, it just makes me tired because I've been left behind by so many friggin people. I don't need people ignoring me. If you don't want me to be your friend, then tell me... and I'll stop talking to you. God Forbid, you have another person caring about who you are and what you're up to. If you're worried about your girlfriend being uber jealous... then I understand... that your girlfriend can't handle you having friends. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. And please, don't be one of those people that are consumed by their relationship and have no friends after you guys end it. I want to be there if you're ever in trouble, but it sucks when I can't even reach you. Or even if I do, you don't have the integrity to even call me back or whatever. Grow some balls and get over yourself.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

I was too busy on friday to answer these... but I'm resting from coaching all day so I'm just gonna answer these friday five :)

1. What was the last thing you baked?
I don't bake as much as I cook. I make a ton of hummus a week... :P yummy. I baked pita chips though to go along with it! So that has to count for something ;)

2. What was the last thing you tried on for size?
Does this mean clothing? or a hobby? So vague. I'm getting interested in a lot of stuff if thats what you mean. I always try on clothes for size ;)

3. What was the last thing you purchased on credit?
I don't have a credit card. yipee! no credit card debt! but yet.... no credit. bleh

4. What was the last thing you put a postage stamp on?
A letter to Blake. Because he's an amazing friend who is my pen pal now :)

5. What was the last thing you took a photo of?
Pretty sure it was when a bunch of us went to Shi Sha lounge. Pretty fun time :)

Friday, October 12, 2007

how sweet would it be
If you knew I loved you for you?
if you knew I didnt care about your past?
if you knew that I didn't even acknowledge your baggage?
if you knew how hard I was trying to pick you up when you were down?
if you knew how I hung onto every word you said?
if you knew how I smiled everytime you were in and out of the room?
how awesome, how sweet, how pure would that be?

a response... how i took it. may of been for someone else. whatever.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

And I think my heart just beat my brains out.

Friday, October 5, 2007

You may have seen us across the Oval, going to class, just like any other student there to get their four year 'in-and-out' five year degree for higher education. We're like any other student on campus except for one thing. Our 2 wheeled friends taking us to class in t-minus 5 minutes. While you're trekking to class for 20 minutes (or a half hour if you're a freshman), we are zipping by due to our incredible logic. Bike = fast. Fast = less time wasted going across this monstrocity of a college campus. I know that some people get annoyed with us, but trust me you guys are no picnic either. lets go over this and maybe we can work out some sort of schedule or something. These are some of the main/repeat offenders on Ohio State's campus

1.) The World Revolves Around My Footsteps Walker: This person is 80%-90% of people crossing campus. LOOK WHERE YOU'RE GOING. Theres a reason why there are almost collisions, cause friggin people don't look where they're going. When you're on a bike you have to look at where you're going next cause, HELLO, you're on a type of vehicle. Its like driving a car, except within people. So yea, look where you're going please and thank you.

2.) The Lets Take up the Whole Sidewalk Walker: Man, which side should I walk on? the right? left? Middle? Okay, I'll just zig zag and end up staying in the middle, not move, and have other people walk around me. Okay people, the answer is RIGHT. Stay to the RIGHT. If you were driving you wouldn't zig zag across the road and stay in the middle of two lanes. ITS THE SAME FRIGGIN THING. Stay on the RIGHT and just like on the highway (whoa!) faster people (a.k.a. bikes) will pass you to the left. Also, girls... STOP walking four people abreast. Theres other people besides you and besides me trying to get through. We don't want to fight through your conversation of "OMIGAWWWWD I got so trashed last night" to be able to walk to opposite (thank you Lord) direction of you.

3.) The Deer in Headlights Walker: You guys are the worst. You just stop DEAD in your tracks when a bike is heading in your direction. Did you have a depressing day and when you see my bike, do you get an idea that on your last day you want to see tires as your last thing on Earth? I'd rather have to veer off my path onto the grass than have to halt on my brakes just to not run into you. I'm six feet tall. Yea, I'm big. I'm so big I've gotten measured for my bike. 20 inches of beautiful bike are under my butt and its kind of hard to be stationary on it despite my height...So don't stop walking!! Don't worry... riders can see believe it or not. We SEE you even before you see us (ahh what a great little hunting scenario, eh?) and trust us, we're not going to run into you. If you stop... YOU ARE AT FAULT of the accident. Next time the screaming bike of terror coming spinning towards you, I'm just going to run you over to fulfill your sudden death wish just keep walking... cause I surely don't want to ruin my bike by running into you.

4.) The Slow as *Insert Colorful Word Here* Walker: Number 4 and Number 1 go hand in hand. These people walk so slow that they might as well not even walk to class (wherever they were going, whatever). They're talking on their cellphone, listening to their rip off and overpriced super hip video ipod, or talking to a person as if they were sitting over an intimate dinner. PICK UP YOUR FEET AND WALK. God made gave you long legs for a reason. I don't care if you're the size of a troll doll, I trust you're physically able to pick up your feet 1-2 inches off the ground to walk.

So please... read these carefully my two legged friends and students and do the opposite of the offenders. You are better than to make these mistakes over and over! Now I know that not everyone can ride bikes on campus, this is a special group... but Campus will be a much happier place because of your dedication and cooperation, just follow the rules of the road.


A Bicycle Rider

Thursday, October 4, 2007

this is about my most favorite thing ever.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '99:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blind sides you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.


Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.


Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.


Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.


Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen."

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

It was a fine day in the fifth grade
when mary may let bobby walk her home from school
he had her books in hand
and he was listening to every word she said
like it was the gospel of the prophecies
and he loved the way her hair fell across her dress
went home singing who wrote the book of love
and try a little tenderness

Its so weird how you can be totally concentrating and then someone just comes and messes up your flow. I don't mean that in a hatred kind of way... just kind of annoyed. I don't know what this person wants from me. I'm open to anything... well almost anything with this person... I feel like I'm always waiting on them. Meh. Now all i can think about is them

Saturday, August 25, 2007

There is such an emphasis on what success is now... I feel as if when you actually achieve it, you're not sure if thats really what success ultimately means to you. I guess the topic is on my mind because I've been trying to write a good resume to send out to magazines for internships. I don't know how to make myself stand out on a piece of paper because there is so much more to a person than that. I know that I am a dedicated and passionate person... but how will the people at the magazine know that? I wish I could ship myself in a box to the editors and just pop out and state, "I'm my resume!" ... but that won't happen. ha! I know I have to learn how to market myself well... I mean I am in advertising for Pete's sake. I just have to actually make my brain work for that. I've never had to promote myself all that much... because I've always tried to put the emphasis on other people and things. Its not about me, this life, you know? Don't get me wrong... I can be selfish sometimes... but I'm pretty selfless too. I like it when other people are happy and they succeed in something they have been working in... that sometimes I forget that I have to work on that too. I cannot always watch and be happy for others... because then I'll just become frustrated and bitter when I do not go anywhere. Maya Angelou said something that I have come to love, "Nothing works until you do,"

I've started on working now.

I had to stop work today for the first time in forever. I do not think I have ever felt this bad or ill in a long time. My heart felt squeezed and there was a constant pressure on my sternum. I felt like i was going to throw up and I was just hot and clammy. In the past four years that I have worked there, this is the first time I could not finish a shift all the way through and I felt so horrible about it. I had my wisdom teeth pulled the previous Friday and had recieved new antibiotics for ever so pleasant bacteria guests that were trying to set up camp in my gums... and I am pretty sure that the antibiotics caused some of this pain.

There are so many things going on in the world that just seem so out of tune or out of wack. There was a hot air balloon that burst into flames yesterday that killed a mother and daughter (while injuring many others), the fires happening in Greece are now thought to be a political kind of rebellion against the elections that were supposed to be on September 16th (but are now postponed to honor the losses and to investigate any conspiracies), and the midwest has been Mother Nature's target for rain, rain, oh and more rain, and power outages. We all seem so small when you come to think of it. So many things are out of our control... and sometimes the things that we are fully capable of controlling, we do not take care of or handle to the best of our abilities causing anger when things go awry. I'm trying to be a lot less controlling... which is working for my benefit. I know that I cannot be responsible for everything and that is a huge weight that is lifted off of me. I have to take care of the things and people around me to the best of my abilities and to handle things with love and not an iron fist... or tongue... whatever.

Situations can be a lot easier when you adopt love as your belief system. If it worked for Christ, it can work for you. Christ may have died a criminal's death... but his life showed more compassion, love, faith, and honor than anything else... and thats something I can definitely respect.

... have nothing to do at 2 in the morning besides stop a car (me) that has slightly gone into the other lane and back once... to you know... give them a "friendly" warning to remind the rules of the road. hmmmmm

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Ohio State's summer is way too dang long. I honestly am one of those weird and strange wonderful and amazing people that actually like to learn. I really don't want school to end. But I mean, if you think about it, it doesn't really have to end because as long as you're learning... its like being in school... except a lot more fun because of the lack of grades. :) I hate GECs... I'm friggin behind because of them (because I havent taken the last three! boo).

God has some huge changes for me this year. I can just feel it and I can already tell from the people I have been talking to. I don't know what to say about it yet besides that... I'm excited. :)