I am at home for a doctor's appointment and its been nice to relax and calm down a little bit back where I grew up (in Dayton, OH). It turns out that a lot of my stomach problems (i've been insanely hungry all the time even with eating full and complete meals) are due to stress. I feel like I always have something to think about. I'm the kind of person that cannot focus on just finishing one thing... there is always one more thing to take care of and I can't help but think about it. I'm still debating whether or not I should go to Europe this summer or take this summer to take care of myself instead of running away.

click above for product info
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I get all my memes from thedailymeme.com... I don't really like tuesdays or wednesdays because I feel like there aren't a lot of interesting ones... but I liked TMI tuesday this week... usually I don't relate to a lot of the questions they post because I'm not in a relationship, married, etc. but whatever! Good questions this week! :)

1. Do you believe anyone truly likes their job? If so, why?
I think this is HIGHLY true. I mean look at people that are pro surfers, who are making art, etc. Basically people who truly did what they loved and not because they were worried about financial responsibility. I really hate money. You cannot live without it and you feel like you cannot live with it. I think people should honestly think about what they want to do with their lives that makes them happy and just go and do it. LIfe is too short to be a slave for money just so you can buy an extra pair of shoes (although, man, I love me some shoes :P) and something so temporary.


take Kassia Meador... a pro surfer. She's freaking happy and joyful and she is doing something she loves for a job! Strive for that!!! (21 min 59 sec)

2. Do you 1) live to work or 2) work to live 3) not see a difference?
As I said in the previous question I just work to live... Just enough so I can have food, gas, etc. I am trying to get rid of my dependence on my car so I can ride my bike and save money. I think people should probably put more thought into their purchses. I mean that is a big reason why people work so much besides working for rent and groceries. Instead of saving up for something like... a new iphone at $199 or $299 (okay, i still would love one... but it's just materialism)... put that money to a vacation with your friends? Because in 30 years you're not wanting to look back at this point in your life right now and be like "Oh man, that was a great phone." or "man, that jacket was the best thing I've purchased in my life!" you're going to want to look back at the beach trip, road trip, europe trip, whatever your heart desires trip with your friends and have memories, and inside jokes, and laughter that will still be something that you keep with you and will be with you for as long as you live.

3. How many hours do you work a week?
Now that it is summer I think around 25? I prefer to work less... during the school year probably 15-20. I know people probably think that 25 isn't a lot of hours... and it really isn't compared to a lot of people's jobs... but it is for doing something that I'm not going to do the rest of my life. I don't know, I'm just a student right now that wants some extra moolah to be able to do the stuff i want! :)

4. What was your safety item (i.e. blankie) from when you were little?
I don't think I had a safety item. I was really brave. I think if I could go back in time and tell myself to keep being fearless. I think all children should be admired because of their innocence and wonder for learning and seeing what the world is like. WHen you're young, everything is new. I always always the one asking for direction to somewhere, how to do something if I didn't know how to do it, and I would be the first to do stuff. I wasn't afraid. Now i'm more afraid to take risks because i know that there are consequences. I shouldn't be afraid but it is installed in the back of my head to worry a tad. Before, when I was younger, I didn't know what risk and consequence were. I should go back.

“Sometimes I wish I could go back to the days when I was six and my biggest problem was what kind of dress to put on Barbie or whether or not I had enough Legos to build a fort”

5. Have you ever used food during sex?
Ha, this is way random based on the previous questions... I wouldn't know because I haven't been to that part of my life just yet! :)

Bonus (as in optional):What is your guilty food pleasure?
I eat pretty healthy! I don't really find a lot of pleasure in bad foods. I think I get more joy out of eating something that is going to do well for my body. I love fruits and smoothies, I love roasted vegetables (especially asparagus and carrots!!), and I love eating new things. I don't really find much satisfaction in sweets, but I do like ice cream once in awhile :)


part one - Rob Bell - Rich


part two - Rob Bell - Rich

It shocks me how much stuff is made with conflict. Conflict with animals, conflict with people, and conflict with countries. Although I hated, despised, loathed my anthropology class; it was pretty eye opening to see what was going on in other parts of the world. I have found different websites that show the practices of different corporations or websites that give a real view of what countries are going through to build their economy.

I would love to consume without conflict. Does anyone know of cool, good quality companies that do not test on animals, exploit labor, etc. and still have beautiful things? Its really all about price because I'm a student... but I feel I'm more willing now to cough up the cash if it means no one was hurt in the process - human or non.

P.S. there is 15 inches of snow here in Columbus! Anyone else hit by the storm?! Mind you, it was 70 degrees on Monday last week. It's now Sunday and its a total of 18 degrees. Oh Columbus! I am so confused by you.

Here are some pictures taken by one of my co-workers:

I have considered myself a vegetarian for about 5-6 years now... I had begun to forget what my reasoning was behind my decision to stop eating meat. I remember I stopped due to animals rights. I found this one quote where vegetarianism is a form of saving those who cannot save themselves. I agree.

So, I have this vegetarian speech I have to give to my class next week and I chose that topic because I thought it would be easy-peasy and go over without a bump, hump, or pebble along the way. How wrong I was. I remember how I was so passionate about it before and now I have become kind of apathetic towards it. As much of a growing foodie I am, I am still not taking into consideration how much went into my food. I would not be able to argue my case effectively if provoked. I've just seemed to become that person who is a vegetarian "because," and not because of any other reason. I sometimes have been scared to say "animal rights brought me to my diet" when people ask because I'm scared of being mocked. I freaking need to grow a backbone. Animal rights is what brought me to my diet people.

What made me fired up again was a website I was surfing for my project. They had pictures that no one could make up or photoshop. Cows with injected udders so big, they could not walk correctly and ended up with their own feces on their udders because it projected so far out. Chickens with their beaks soldered off to prevent them from pecking each other to death, but then preventing them from pecking at their food as well... thus making them starve slowly to death. By then slaughter is merciful and a God send. Pigs caged in by bars so they could not move... to make them more tender. How thoughtful. What made me really sick, as a extreme advocate of riding and horses, I was so saddened how mares (female horses over four years of age) are impregnated to make Premarin and have their foals used as a delicacy. Ugh, the pictures are too graphic for me to post.

Cruelty like this does not only extend to livestock but your pets as well. Cats, well this one was a kitten, are burned alive (don't believe me, go here. I literally cried at my desk for like a half hour yesterday), dogs are eaten and beaten by rods, rabbits are tested on for skin irritation tests, and animals like foxes and raccoon dogs are skinned ALIVE. F CKING ALIVE. They still STRUGGLE to live and get away as their face is RIPPED OFF and their SKIN is TORN for their precious fur. The most violent thoughts come into my head when seeing these people that kill these animals. I just want to hurt them so badly for inflicting violence upon something that cannot protect itself. Do their sounds of agony not disturb them? Their last attempts and efforts to struggle up onto their feet? People making me sick. I was thinking the other day, "wow humans ruin everything," and then I realized I am human too.

I hate our species.

"Whoever is righteous has regard for the life of his beast, but the mercy of the wicked is cruel." is what Proverbs 12:10 says. A lot of my Christian friends say that animals were given to us to be eaten. Yes but not beaten and tortured to that extent. I honestly do no know how you can say you have compassion and love everything and everything when you are in your faith. It pisses me off. Yea I have compassion.... as long as its only my pet. F ck you on that note. seriously. Its about the only time I'll really be angry with you. This topic goes onto so many others but I just don't understand people.

"[...] Because I try not to judge, but I really don't understand the notion of a pro-capitalist, pro-death penalty, pro-war Christian. To me, that just seems like a vegetarian who eats a burger." - Moby May 2006 Relevant

I'm all fired up again. I think this speech is what I needed.






Oops. Maybe I shouldn't of posted those. Maybe I did.

What Now?
>> GoVeg.com has great resources, recipes, and even a vegetarian starter kit to get you thinking about a vegetarian diet.
>> All-creatures.org shows the insane cruelty shown upon the creatures on the earth. Doesn't extend to just livestock. Theres mice, rabbits, orcas, dogs, and cats as well.
>> happycow.net shows different vegan/raw/vegetarian restaurants around the whole world!

Heath Andrew Ledger :: April 4th, 1979 - January 22, 2008

Heath Ledger, as many of you know already, died this past Tuesday afternoon between 1pm and 3pm. He was officially pronounced dead around 3:34pm in his Soho apartment. Toxicity tests still have to come back from testing to tell us if overdose is really what happened to Ledger. I am so saddened by this. Heath Ledger was my favorite actor for the past ten years. I had him first plaster all over my school notebooks and all like... well... a little school girl but as he started to get more mature roles i realized how AMAZING of an actor he was. How humble he stayed and how beautiful of a person he was. No matter what people will say about him and regardless of his situation of how he died... I will always stick by him. I had even written a very fired up letter to John Gibson about his crude remarks about ledger. I'll post it later if its even relevant... but Gibson half heartedly apologized later. It was so half-a$$ed that I, along with hundreds of other fans, didn't even appreciated it. Ledger... He was amazing. I've had friends who weren't even huge fans of him say they felt "weird" that he was dead. It is weird. I am so saddened. Really. Its just weird to not be able to look forward to his daring roles anymore and just... admire him while he is living as a father, son, and actor. My prays go out to his family. I am so so saddened. I know what its like to lose someone close to me. I am so sorry to his friends and family and the acting community. Even though I had no idea how you really truly were, you inspired me to do the things that truly make me happy. I am honored to even be just a fan of yours. You will be missed Heath Andrew Ledger.

Sorry guys its been awhile. I've been swamped with school work... and looking up news on Heath every five minutes on google since other Heath sites have experienced internet meltdown since his death.

P.S. Hey if you live in Perth or the NY area, please respect Heath's family in this time. And for any gossip website please don't put up pictures of his funeral or memorial services. I've seen websites where they have put those up and have to click the "x" on the left hand corner of my mac. Its so sad and disgusting people thrive off of that. Someone that we love is in that box. not breathing. not moving. Not anything. Please respect his family and have Heath leave this earth peacefully.

that made me chuckle a bit. haha!

Hey guys, because I'm Polish, we're celebrating Christmas on Christmas Eve... always done that! But since i'm going to be busy hanging out with friends and family the next two days I wanted to wish you a very merry Christmas!

And even though many think that Santa is the one you should be celebrating remember that Jesus is the reason for the season!!!

Merry CHRISTmas!

I'm sorry to all you intelligent Americans out there, but seriously? This makes me ashamed to even be associated with North America's basement!!!! ;) I'm sure that there are idiots in every country and all but this is why people make fun of Americans. cause they see stupid shows like this and see the people that come on there. No, Europe is not a country it is a continent. Budapest doesn't even sound French, are you kidding me? Ever heard of Paris? I thought every blond girl in heels would know one of the fashion capitals of the world.

Things that make you go hmmm...

What's the stupidest thing you've heard someone say lately?

P.S. This post is no way reflecting on this girl but please visit A.P.! She actually just put up a couple good videos from youtube on her site. My favorite is the one by Dove Films at the bottom of her latest post talking about self worth and body image. concentrate on your mind! Your body is so temporary just like everything else, but at least you can keep your mind sharp and beautiful as your outer beauty fades with age! So please visit, comment, give love :)

There is something fascinating about dark films and just darkness in general in the arts. I love how something usually so ugly can be beautiful. I was just watching television and i saw the movie trailer for Sweeney Todd, the film about the "demonic" barber by Tim Burton. Tim Burton is a freaking artistic genius. All his films never fail to be visually stunning. I cannot wait to see that movie. I used to fear that people thought I was weird for liking these types of things. Skulls, Black, Dark artwork, etc.... but its part of who I am. So... who cares? There is a beautiful art piece that I saw at the dayton art museum a couple of years ago that said "this is all that becomes of our beautiful days." I freaking LOVE it. Thats when my love for the darker images started. Well, escalated. My depression in middle and high school already made me appreciate it some. I liked it because it was true. When we die, we can't take anything with us. It all stays here. Kind of tells what you should be thankful for and what you should appreciate.

I appreciate my family, the fact I'm able to get an education, and my friends. I'm thankful that I never go hungry, that I have a roof over my head, that I have a car that gets me from point a to point me, I'm thankful for my legs, my hands, my head, my heart.

what are you thankful for? Thanksgiving isn't the only day you should be consciously thinking about it.

Its obvious that I shouldn't be in Ohio and it is plainly obvious that I am not from here either. I don't have ANY really nice cold weather essentials. you know... oh like if its raining, actual good rainboots... Or a rainproof jacket. I don't even own an umbrella. Living here for a little bit over a decade would really tell a normal person.. but nuh uh, not me. More is that back home, I live in a one story house with no basement... which was a big no no growing up because every spring theres always these huge tornado warnings... but luckily they never come our way. It makes for a good story thought when I tell my friends that my mom always screamed for us to get into the bathtub with our cats. I don't ever want to die that way, just to let you know. I also don't follow ohio sports... whatev. over iiiitttt

so to be a proper midwesterner:
1. have a northface (if you want to hop onto the bandwagon) or some other really warm jacket.
2. An umbrella should be a no-brainer... hey i'm blond give me a break!
3. proper footwear. It makes me cringe seeing girls wear flip flops in 27 degree weather.
4. like football.

the one thing I did get right and I will be a customer of forever... The Palmer's Cocoa Butter Stick. Its a over-sized tube of chapstick that you can buy at CVS, Ulta Beauty, Walgreens and your other pharmacies. Its good for your scars, any dry skin, and its amazing for your lips. Tastes really good too. I am an absolute chapstick-happy fiend and I apply it every five seconds (gotta keep those lips soft for my imaginary boyfriend right? haha) and I never get tired of the taste and it does not build up to make it seem like your lips have a layer of gunk over them. The vitamin E soothes and makes your lips real soft!And being that into my chapstick... I go through a lot and this has lasted me since july and I still have over half left! awesome! for a mere 3.29 a pop this is a GREAT deal for students and any beauty lovers alike. ;) I've also put this accidentally through the wash/dryer and no melting or anything. This is like, the mother of all chapsticks!

So all in all:
Taste: 5 out of 5 stars. Tastes pretty good, I like the mild cocoa butter flavor because it never seems like overkill.
Size: 4 out of 5 stars. All my friends thought I was putting on glue cause the tube is so big. So you might get a few weird looks... thats the only reason its 4 out of 5. But it fits in your purse, manbag, pockets just fine.
Lifetime: 6 out of 5 stars. its lasted me almost 6 months. 'nuff said.
Price: 5 out of 5 stars. $3.29 for .5 oz but it lasts FOREVER. You can't beat it. :)

Well I'm a NaBloPoMo failure... i think i skipped about three days? Oh well. My thanksgiving was pretty good, it was the first AMERICAN thanksgiving we had. As some know, we're really Polish in my household and American food for an American holiday is unheard of. Thanks to epicurious.com we got a couple amazing dishes out like Herbed stuffing and Chive and Parsley Mashed Potatoes (looked like pistachio ice cream!).

I hate it when you try to forget someone and then when you see them you get all sucked back up again to the same place you were before. I hate trying to forget people but people don't seem to make it hard on themselves to forget me. I feel as if I've been left behind more than ME being the person that is doing the leaving. The leaving doesn't even have to be physical. I've been in the same room with people who have left me behind in their past. Kind of hurts.

I had my first shift at work last night... it was pretty fun, liked the atmosphere even though I REALLY don't understand the whole BLACK FRIDAY rush. Learn to do online shopping, for real. It surprisingly only took me about 5-10 minutes to find a parking spot though and pretty close. pretty sweet. :)

Sicne I'm probably going to be busy on Thanksgiving Day, I decided to write what I'm thankful for now. Plus, being thankful shouldn't be something that only occurs on one day a year. Life is full of little surprises and little treats that make you be just that, thankful. So here are ten things that I've noticed this past year that have made me feel great to be alive.

1. Friends who are always there to talk to you, always there to bless your sneezes, to bake you cakes, to take stupid pictures during boring car rides with, to talk to you at 3 am when you cannot sleep, and to just relate.
2. No God, No Peace... Know God. Know Peace. I give the reason why I am still alive to God. I'm proud in my faith and I would love people to know the love and worth I have experience through my faith.
3. My hands that bring me through so many down periods of my life by just pouring my thoughts onto paper and making the scenery and landscapes that usually only exist in my mind become a reality.
4. My legs and feet that bring me one step closer everyday to what I'm working for. I can walk. I can run.
5. Zach Morris. Not the saved by the Bell character... but my beloved friend who passed away what will be two years ago on December 1, 2005. He was a real man and a real character. He knew what it was to be fully alive. I miss you, love you, and thank you so much for helping me through my days.
6. My co-coaches. They've helped me out of financial ruts. what a blessing. they've taught me patience and to have a backbone.
7. My family. We're not there for each other 100% of the time... but that makes me want to know them more and appreciate what they have done for me already. My mother is a beautiful dreamer, my father bears the intelligence that would rival Einstein, and my sister for being the crazy beautiful mess that she is and always uproots me when its desperately needed.
8. My Recent Awakening. Life is to be taken by the horns. Time to work on my bucket list.
9. Literature. Thank you for being my escape into a realm of dreams and wanted scenarios from teh harsh reality of people who do not understand.
10. Baz Luhrman's "Sunscreen Song" brings me up whenever I am feeling down. As cheesey and old as some people think it is... He states the truth. You never know what is going to happen in your life. Appreciate and kiss it now.

Hugs = great. I love this video. watch and enjoy :)

Today we salute you, Mr./Ms. Buckeye Student. You, adorned in your buckeyes, teach us that there is no limit to the things you can do with nuts. Sure, your drunken shenanigans have been in every newspaper and magazine in the country, but you know that you were doing that on purpose. Where others attend college soley for a good education, you preach of true higher education. With a major at OSU, an automatic minor in leisure activities and drunkology. You preach of a world where it's okay for someone to get drunk at 7a.m. and pee in public. You ask "Why can't we have bars in the library, and have beer pong as a varsity sport?" So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, Mr./Ms. Buckeye Student, BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THAT THERE ARE ONLY A FEW PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT 20 DEGREE WATER FEELS LIKE IN NOVEMBER!

Today is the Mirror Lake Jumper Inner's day of celebration for michigan week. it is currently...37 degrees out and is probably going to get a lot colder. I'm so pumped. Despite all the crap thats at the bottom and the water probably tainted with disease... its probably one of the most fun nights ever... Seriously, these kinds of traditions are why people want to go to a University like Ohio State.

I'll show you a youtube video of the chaos that ensues... SO PUMPED!


A couple I will offer the newbies of mirror lake jumping...
1.) Keep the bodypaint to a minimum, seriously. for your own good. When you jump in and it shoots into your eyes from the 2000 people that jumped into the water previously... its gonna burn your eyes.
2.) Get good old sneakers/water shoes/etc that will STAY PUT on your feet. You don't need to be contracting HIV from the broken glass/duck feces/mud living at the bottom
3.) Sing "We don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan" as loud as you can for as long as you can.
4.) The more creative your outfit the better. Wear friggin anything and bring props. Floaties are a popular choice.


Above is proof of my stupidity amazing awesomeness last year in 2006 with some friends of mine. Notice my hatred for Michigan on my shirt. I can't believe they sold michigan shirts in columbus! Granted it was at a thrift store... but hey... And I know I'm not the biggest football fan... but I know that Michigan is NO GOOD. so if you're in columbus and one of the cool 5000 people that jump in every year... I'll be seeing you there!

this week's Friday5

1. If you were on a game show and could phone a friend for help, who would your lifelines be for sports, arts & music, literature, history and geography, and science?
Sports would probably be my friend Karl... he seems to know everything about sports. plus he's always playing one. Arts and Music would be Laura or Marta, Literature would be most definitely Brett, History and Geography most definitely = JJ. its his major haha! Lastly science would probably be Ian and Jon... bio major and the other a veterinary medicine major.

2. When you need someone with muscles to help you with a task, who’s the first one you call?
haha any of the brickhouse boys. Its just a house full of brawny men. haha!

3. When you need some creative help with ideas for a project, who’s the first person you call?
Laura or Brian. Super creative minds. I love it.

4. When you have a moral dilemma and need advice, on whom do you rely most?
Alicia when shes here... But for breaking rules I call marta... she is my partner in crime even though she's all the way in freaking London, England!

5. When you need to know the best way to get somewhere, which of your directionally-gifted friends do you call upon first?
Unfortunately... I am that friend. So if I'm lost... God help my other friends! ;)

Laird Hamilton, if you didn't know already, is one of the (if not THE) greatest big wave surfers in history. He is interviewed in Relevant Magazine for the Nov/Dec issue and I had no idea he was a believer. Freakin eh! Thats awesome! These are my two favorite Q&A's he had with the (incredibly awesome) magazine (that everyone should go read)... italics were put in by me by the way:

"Relevant Magazine: The 'thanks to' section of your Laird DVD ends with the following text: '... most of all to the one who made it all possible, the Lord.' Can you describe your relationship with God?
Laird Hamilton: Yes. Its an ongoing struggle to follow the messages in the bible that are designed to make the lives of Christians easier, to help us bypass of the pain and problems of this life. At the end of the day, we're all just people who share common struggles, urges and issues everyone has. Some of the churches I've visited have made me sad because the people there seem to have forgotten that Jesus told us not to judge, or we will be judged. I think it if were up to man, we'd all be cast into hell, because we're all quick to point out other people's flaws. I don't like to broadcast my relationship with the Lord because I don't want to be running around saying, 'Look at me, I'm perfect. I'm holier than thou,' because I'm not; I'm not great. I'm grateful for the forgiveness I have in God. In some ways life is easier when you don't know God, because once you know Him you're accountable.

RM: How do your experiences with 60-foot waves and other incredible forces of nature affect your posture towards God?
Hamilton: They make me grateful. Looking at my life, at the blessings I've had and continue to have, I realize that I am unworthy. I need to remember that I'm just a man-I need the hope, love, and grace the Word offers. I have to consciously remember to be positive and to give thanks to the Lord. There are blessings everyday, but its so easy to get off track and not acknowledge that.' "

Definitely have mad respect towards this man. :)


P.S. a surfing video on Laird Hamilton. He's basically a BAMF if I've ever seen one.